Managing Upwards: When They Say No to Promo
Tactics to win the war for promotion, even if you lose a battle
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– Fullstack
Leadership is often assumed to mean managing folks beneath you in the org chart.
But, leadership also includes helping guide peers (same level), and notably managers (above you).
This is the first of an ongoing series: Managing Upwards.
Like a gazelle trying to shape the behaviour of a lion, this is high risk & high reward game.
Learn to manage upwards, anon.
You'll find you can mitigate many of the uncontrollable, dismal parts of your W2 existence.
Progress may be partial or slow.
But, moving the needle can make your W2 more tolerable, get you promoted faster, and ultimately leave you more life energy for other priorities like family or wifi-money.
So with that, let the first Managing Upwards first case study begin.
Case Study Setup
You want to be put up for promo.
You setup a 1:1 call with your manager letting them know that you've been "thinking about career growth" and want to go up for promo next cycle.
You're also frustated with your compensation.
You did your DD (due diligence) and messaged recruiters back on LinkedIn to get some numbers.
All offers come back 25-150% above your current salary. The opportunity cost of not getting that pending promotion just went up.
After saying your piece, you wait for your manager to respond.
Expected
Manager:
"Wow, anon, that's great! I'm glad you want to grow your career, I want that too. I've been thinking you were ready for promotion for a while so thanks for bringing it up."
Actual
Manager:
"Wow, I'm honestly shocked. I did not expect this at all."
"Frankly, I think your experience is a bit light for such a jump."
"I know I shouldn't say this but I am worried if you don't get it, you'll break my track record of all my promo candidates getting through."
"Yeah, it's just tricky because I had been planning to promote Jim before you but I don't think he's ready yet."
"Thanks for sharing what other offers you have. I tried this once years ago and brought up other job offers to my manager and he was not impressed and made my job a living hell for the next year. So, I wouldn't recommend that strategy."
Pause: Uh oh, what now?
Tough conversations with your manager don't always go as you expect.
The puppet master with control of your W2 fate might not appreciate someone trying to yank them in the opposite direction.
Good.
It's in these moments especially where the magic can happen.
Much in life is a negotiation, and you shouldn't always roll over and split the difference.
But, if you mess up the rest of this converstion, your prospects with this manager will be pretty shot. Better plan to pack up and switch teams or companies.
Managers are human. They won't soon forget high emotion, critical conversations, and how it made them feel.
So, how do you bounce back from your manager dumping on your promo prospects?
How do you calm him down after he gets fired up that you brought out competing offers?
Eyes on the Horizon: Win The Long Game
While many can make more money jumping from job to job, there is sometimes a sweet spot where staying is beneficial.
The longer you are in a position, the easier it will be day to day. You know how to do the job, who to talk to, how the systems work.
Specifically, you can more easily fade efforts. At a new job, you have to ramp up on everything new.
Getting promoted requires a long game mindset.
As we've talked about before, understanding the promo season schedule and preparing accordingly is critical.
But when conversations with your manager don't go according to plan, a long term mindset opens doors.
Case Study Resume: Flip the Script
The quotes that started this case study all real and from a single conversation with a manager.
I was aiming to be put up for promotion in the next round which opened in 2 months.
I had been in my current role for 1.5 years, which as you can guess from the previous post on levels, is materially less time than the median (2.5 years).
All that to say, as with most of my promotions, I was gunning for it early.
Past successes had taught that YOLO-ing even with a weaker case or less time-in-level wasn't a hard blocker on moving up.
In this case, the manager was not easily persuaded.
Tactics don't work perfectly in every battle. But, getting promotions is a war.
A battle can be lost, while strategically putting you further ahead. And vice versa.
In this case, I didn't get defensive.
I calmly asked my manager to review my hype doc, talk to some colleagues, and let me know by end of week his final decision.
He didn't call me Friday. I waited all weekend. When he called the next week, it was still a no.
But, his tone was markedly different.
He now had an upbeat and optimistic demeanor. No more scoffing.
He clearly had now bought into the idea that I was on track for the next level, just not this round. I probably needed another 6-12 months to build more evidence and get closer to the median time-in-level.
That is a great leap forward from where he was the previous week, shocked that I was even considering a promotion.
The manager was now even talking about how he would prioritize high impact projects to help my packet get over the line. This is a huge win, getting the right projects is critical for building evidence.
While not the timeline I initially was hoping for, having manager buy-in for promotion in an upcoming cycle snatches a win from the jaws of defeat.
Kill the Ego
What if I had been overly defensive when he first expressed his doubts?
What if I had tried desperately to beg and plead to convince him to promote me after he had clearly made his decision?
A long game mindset prevented me from souring the relationship or my long term prospects to preserve my ego.
How you accept the L matters.
While it stung the first day, the next day I was back to grinding at my wifi-money and promotable projects.
Your crushed ego is not fatal.
In fact, when you respond defensively, you weakly and naively try to protect your ego. You throw out any strategic thinking of how to spin the current situation for your benefit.
In any conversation with your manager, you must remain professional and strategic.
An inch taken is still an inch.
You won't get anywhere crying or venting or grumbling at them. Managers promote people they like.
There's no upside to causing drama.
But there is upside to going for it, failing, yet moving the goal posts towards your position.
My manager's initial shock at my promo request was from anchoring bias. He was anchored at seeing me in my current level.
By pushing through an uncomfortable conversation and forcing him to review my hype doc and ask around, his anchor point changed.
He now saw me as close to the next level.
Shock gave way to acceptance. Never, turned into soon.
Moping around, depressed, and full of self-pity over L's is a sure way to never get promoted.
Keep turning your L's into W's.
You can afford to lose a battle, but you can’t lose the war.
Get your promos. Build your wifi-money. Escape.
If you want to achieve BowTied Bull Step 1 (high income from your career in tech), then you'll probably want to subscribe.
A coffee a month for proven tactics and strategies to land your next promo faster… that sounds like its worth the price of admission.
My colleagues smiling at their bigger paychecks after following my advice and getting early promotions certainly seem to think so.
There's a lot more we need to cover if you're going to make it.
Stay toon'd.
- BowTied Fullstack
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